Unsure what to do next after husband had an affair?

I recently shared a problem regarding my husband of 6 years having an affair. it lasted for 7 months and was with someone very close to me who is also married, her husband knows and I found out 2 weeks after it ended.. Found out 18 days ago. Since then he has told me everything that happened between them and why he did it. He said that he loves me but was in a haze at the time and forgot just how much I meant to him. My question is, I want to trust him but I'm finding it so so hard, I want to know about sms, calls etc sent by him to her, I'm constantly checking his phone and emails. I dont want to live like this, I want to trust him but cannot see how I am going to after what has happened. Does this get easier?? Will I trust him again??? I had a panic attack the other day and considered doing something stupid as I couldnt see a way out, as I have small children I shook myself and realised I couldnt do that to them, I have been having very extreme panic attacks lately and sometimes dont see a future for me, I dont want to abandon my boys but I dont know how to deal with this, Please help me..............